i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize