Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
