I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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