just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
