You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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