So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize