It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
