I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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