DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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