so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
