Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
