she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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