Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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