i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
third nipple confirmed
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You ate ashes out of my bong
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
