Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
