I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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