That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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