i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
