Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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