its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
