So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Congratulations! We have a period
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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