And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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