trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize