Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I AM VODKA MAN
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
