I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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