living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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