the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
