I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
