Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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