I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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