You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
