I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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