I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
