i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
