Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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