Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
