I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize