Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
