he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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