is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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