I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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