If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
