Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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