What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
