She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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