I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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