I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Welp...herpes.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
