I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
