He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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