3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
