before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize