i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
