my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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