please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
