We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We're like a lot better than the average bears
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
