so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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