True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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