Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
