Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I will pee on everything he values.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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