that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
is wine microwaveable?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
