My hair reeks of homosexuality.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
