Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
