Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
people are starting to question the shark bite story
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
