I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
