Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
my liver is dry heaving
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
