'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
