would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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