More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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